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| Tuesday Morning Quarterback |
The Jaguars are as close a lock to a wildcard spot as possible this close to Chanukah. Granted the Jags have had some absurd play at times this season, but have been consistently solid the past several weeks and with the way QB David “Sam” Gerrard is playing and the dual threat of WR Mike Sims-Johnnie-Walker and RB Maurice Jones-Larry-Drew , this is a team that can control the game and when they play good defense is very tough to beat. The Steelers are in BIG, BIG trouble. Losing to the Ravens the way they did last week was tough enough, but losing at home to the worst franchise in sports , the Oakland Raiders, just kills any semblance of hope the Ketchup Bottles have of doing anything this season. Oh ya and in the process they made Oakland QB Bruce Gradkowski look like the ghost of Johnny Unitas. Yes they miss defensive hero Troy Palamalu worse than Rose missed Jack in Titanic, but C”MON MAN!! I am now addicted to Snickerdoodle Cookies and Chanukah Harry Condoms(99.6 percent effective this holiday season) THINGS WE STILL WANT TO KNOW How good is Green Bay? We know they live on nothing but cheese and wine and dismantled a disgustingly inept Baltimore team on Monday Night, but this team has …..gasp….the number one defense in the NFL. If they can learn that turning the ball over on offense is not a good thing and can get at least one playoff game at Lambeau, they actually could make a run in the postseason. Are the Bengals the worst second seed in the AFC this late in the season ever? This is a sqaud that earlier in the year looked incredibly scary , but now reminds me much of the overrated Florida Gators in college football. If they want to have any chance of going anywhere in the playoffs I suggest they change their team curfew from 4 am to 2 am and cancel the traditional team meal of Krispy Crème’s and Meatloaf before games. How bad are the St Louis Mattherhorns..I mean Rams? This is a team with a new head coach that I love in Steve Spagnola, but an overall team effort that reminds me of how tough it was to sit through the David Spade gem “Joe Dirt” in the movie theater. They have talent on offense , but look like a team that literally has no idea who they are and how to play the game of football in general at times. Maybe letting this be the franchise that moves to London,England is the answer to turn this teams' fortunes around. Were the Three Wise Men really that wise? I mean listen they def had book smarts , but as far as street smarts go I would definitely take Moses, Abraham, or even Tom Petty in a street fight. This is a question that has riddled me for weeks. EARLY LOOK AT WEEK 8 NFL BETTING VALUE (CURRENT BET PHOENIX.COM LINES AS OF TUESDAY MORNING) Rated on a 1-5 Bagel and Locks system SAN DIEGO CHARGERS AT DALLAS COWBOYS (COWGIRLS -3 Total 48) - In essence this game has become a win and you have a chance or lose and it’s likely over for the Cowgirls. This is a team that has been highly overrated all season long and in the game they have to win they must face the hottest team in football , save the Saints and Colts. The Dallas defense has been a problem for weeks now and that is great news for the Bolts who seemingly can score in their sleep. The value is all over the Chargers in this one and look for huge days from Antonio Gates and Phillip "Littlle Rivers Band" against the banged up Cowboy D. Play - 2.9 Bagels on the CHARGERS 2.5 Bagels (with a side of jasmine scallywag) on the OVER 48 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES AT NEW YORK GIANTS-SUN NIGHT(GIANTS -1 Total 46) - The Giants still have life after their huge win over the Cowgirls this past weekend and the Eagles just continue to pound teams that take them lightly. D McNabb and company are hitting their stride late in the season like they always seem to do and while this is not a true must win for the G-Men its pretty close and I think the Gints come out tight and the Eagles put the pedal to the medal from play number one. Play - 3.5 Bagels(with Mike “Nothing but the Nuts Roby“ holiday schmear-trust me its good) on the EAGLES CAROLINA PANTHERS AT NEW ENGLAND PATSIES- (PATS -13.5(ARE YOU KIDDING ME?) Total 44) - Ok Pats fans, do you really think your team is 13.5 points better than anybody right now? Cause I for sure don’t. I don't know if i would give that many points if they played on the road at Temple. Yes the Patriots have the ability to take over games and win them going away, but as they proved in Miami over the weekend, they can also scallywag a game away with the best of them. I hate to say it cause I used to play hop scotch with Tom Brady in middle school, but he has not looked good in recent weeks and the defense has been atrocious. The Panthers aren’t the 85' Bears by any stretch of the imagination, but take the points and run in this game whether you tease it, parlay it, or try to win a house by betting on the Carolina money line, you have the definite value on your side. (Check the status of Panthers QB Jake DelHomme for giggles, but as you saw Matt Moore is more than serviceable and shouldn’t really change your opinion on what side to take in this one.) Play- 4.7 Bagels (with a side of nutmeg and reindeer jerky)on the PANTHERS- HEAR THE ROAR 
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THINGS WE LEARNED-
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