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| Tuesday Morning Quarterback |
How bout those San Diego Super Chargers! Yes, Dallas is the worst excuse for an eight win football team since Chevy Chase’s failed talk show, but going on the road to Dallas is never easy and the Bolts just punched the Cowgirls in the mouth from the get-go and showed the nation what a real playoff team is supposed to look like, not just one that hides behind a video score board the size of Delaware. Yes we're in Delaware (that’s a Wayne World’s reference to anyone under 15 years old) Fins QB Chad Henne is the next Tom Brady. Ok I know I am getting a little ahead of myself, but has he not looked unreal since he took over for Chad” unlimited injuries” Pennington early this year. In the process he has lead Miami, who lost star RB Ronnie “Doc” Brown over a month ago, to the cusp of the playoffs. He has a long way to go, but I expect to see great things out of Henne for years to come and these days he and Brady are some of the only good things going for Michigan Wolverine fans as we head towards the new year. I am now addicted to Ultraviolet Mistletoe and Chanukah Harry Jellybean Latke's THINGS WE STLL WANT TO KNOW Hey Arizona, do you like playing football or would you rather just turn the ball over 7 TIMES IN ONE GAME? The perpetual enigma that is the AZ Cardinals went into San Fran and threw up all over themselves. This team has looked better than the Super Bowl runner up’s from last year at times, then there was Monday night. When they looked like the acting styles of Tom Green mixed with Coolio. I would def pay to see that movie…..with monopoly money. Are the Ravens actually a good football team? It kills me to say it being on lifelong suicide watch, I mean being a Lions fan, but the Ravens not only thoroughly destroyed my Honolulu blue and silver, but made them look like a bunch of toddlers. That being said a huge win over the Lions is nothing to write home about over the last decade and this team has looked awful at times this season with an offense that reminds you of a 1974 Ford Pinto when they are not playing well. Can the Patriots avoid themselves and actually go anywhere in the playoffs this year. Is it me or has this team seem to have fallen apart right before our eyes. Yes they got a win…barely... against the Panthers this weekend, but between Randy Moss scallywagging it , multiple team members getting sent home from practice like they were 4th graders who came to school in leather pants with ass less chaps, and Bill Belichick running out of torn sweatshirts , these are not our ex-girlfriends Pats. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a gopher that lived on a golf course in the Midwest? I mean they have the time of their lives during the summer , but what do they do in the winter? Do you think they have their own little underground cottage complete with an omelette maker, Blu-Ray player with both "Caddyshack" movies on virtual repeat, and a full winter supply of Orange Julius banana shakes? I for one want to go chill with them during the NFL playoff’s along with Herm Edwards, Tooti from the “Facts of Life” and Boner from “ Growing Pains”. PARSLEY, SAGE,ROSEMARY AND PIGSKIN Let’s take a break from football for a moment and talk about what seems to have no way of hiding from us, Eldrick Tiger Woods. Oh Tiger how can we get mad at you for screwing any porn star or night club hostess with a heartbeat? Oh ya that’s right YOUR F ‘ING MARRIED. Now listen I am the kind of guy that never cheats and I know many out there might take a different stance on this issue , but no matter where you fall on the matter he is the best golfer, heck the best athletes in the world right now and yes this is his private life , but when you get to that level you have to have some level of decency whether you like it or not. I mean it would be one thing if he just had one or two affairs and maybe screwed the Queen of England , but 13!! I have set the Over/Under by the way of total affairs at 29,. Go right to www.betphoenix.com and lay the wood on the OVER before it goes up. What really is going to suffer the most is the PGA tour which is now sponsored by the letter Q and seltzer water(love ya SNL). http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/pga-tour/1184649/ EARLY LOOK AT WEEK 8 NFL BETTING VALUE (CURRENT BET PHOENIX.COM LINES AS OF TUESDAY MORNING) Rated on a 1-5 Bagel and Locks system GREEN BAY PACKERS AT PITTSBURGH STEELERS(STEELERS PICK -$115 Total 40) - Bottom line if the Steelers don't win this game not only is their run as defending champs over, but they will have done it by losing six in a row and looking more like the Lions then last season's Super Bowl winners. The Packers on the other hand have been getting better each week and boast the NFL's number one defense. Something just tells me though that even though Pittsburgh is unlikely to make the playoffs even if they win out, they are not going to lose this game. Coach Mike Tomlin has threatened to move the team to Ottawa if they don't; start playing better and even though this team has a ton of issues I see them finally heeding his call and playing a good football game for the first time in weeks. Play - 2.9 Bagels on the STEELERS 2.5 Bagels (with a side of orzo and wild rice scallywag) on the OVER 40 DALLAS COWGIRLS AT NEW ORLEANS SAINTS-(SAINTS -7 Total 53) - Oh those Dallas Cowgirls, the football team not the sexy sideline dancers people. I can't understand for the life of me how they have eight wins this season as they are seriously the poorest excuse for a possible playoff team since the legendary comedy “Alf” went off the air. Not only do I think they have no chance to win in New Orleans , but I can see this team potentially losing the rest of their games this year as they have to go on the road to the suddenly streaking Redskins and then host Philly. I think the Saints will score early and often in this one and while seven points is a large number in a game like this I think I would lay 14 if I had to on N.O. Play - 3.5 Bagels(with Mike “Nothing but the Nuts Roby“ Chanukah schmear) on the SAINTS NEW YORK GIANTS AT WASHINGTON REDSKINS MON NIGHT- (GIANTS -1.5 Total 42.5) - The G-men are almost in as bad a tailspin as the Cowboys and lucky for them they were able to beat them two weeks ago or they would be in huuuuge double bubble trouble. As it is they still have little chance to make the postseason and would have to win this one to stay alive. The Skins on the other hand have been playing much better football recently after grabbing offensive coordinator Sherm Lewis out of the retirement from the early bird special at Bob Evans earlier this season. This is basically their Super Bowl this year against the hated Giants on Monday Night Football and with the way the Giants have been playing on the road as of late and the tightness I think they will come out with in a must-win game, I am all over the “Shirts and Skins” in this one. Play- 4.6 Bagels (with a side of nutmeg and reindeer jerky) on the SKINS 
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THINGS WE LEARNED-
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